2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
