Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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