If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
