I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
