so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
