Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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