oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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