Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
