we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
