I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you had me at cake vodka
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
