He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
