nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
