i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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