I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
