my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
