I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
