I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
