i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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