She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
