I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
