Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it hurts more in the daytime
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
