My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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