It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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