Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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