ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Green mimosas i think yes
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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