the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
