First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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