if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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