She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
