OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
