JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
