I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
