who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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