Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
