everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
