That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize