did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
