Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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