As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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