I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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