no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
