Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
