I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
