their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Your cock deserves a montage
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
