can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
