hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
