no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize