i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
