She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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