i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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