I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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