I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
