Already got asked if we're dating
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
