Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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